My Little Pony

Panel day!!

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

It’s finally panel day!!!!!

My first solo panel, Surviving Fantastic Fandoms, will be starting in a few hours.

And I am so excited.
I don’t know what to expect.

I am going to try and let myself relax but I am so nervous. I have had a few personal things go on in the past 2 days that I cannot bring up that are really bothering me. I am going to try and push on through.

As a thousand things race through my head, I am drawing on the strength of you, my friends, and all my ponies. It has been an incredible journey to get from a place of depression to a panel in front of people talking about things I love.

I look forward to meeting some of you there.

If you are reading this after the panel, welcome. You happen to pick a blog post that is a big milestone in my life. Join me and help others as well.

Thank you all.

I love you all.

Hug a pony my friends.

Panelling

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

I am counting down to my panel. I will be speaking on the joys and downfalls of fandoms. I will be drawing from my 10 years of convention experience and all the fandoms I have been a part of in the past.

I consider myself a leading consultant in being teased in the fandoms I have been a part of. I have been through the years of being teased. In the 90’s it was Star Wars and the in depth detail I remembered. I started to wear a rubber dog nose to make people smile (my early adventures into being a furry) Lord of the Rings and the Shannara series followed those wonderful books. In the 2000’s I started in more fantasy series and started back into some animes I got into. 2010 started the full-time Furry and the My Little Pony.

Through all these times I was ridiculed and laughed at. I persevered through all the people who rode my back with the names that carried through the ages. I still bare the verbal scars.

I do hope to help others find things they love. I hope to share my hardships and to encourage those who might be feeling low.

In all this, I have to overcome my own fears and depression. I am nervous beyond all measure. I hope this will help resolve my own questions about my abilities.

Wish me luck.

Hug some ponies for me my friends.

PS I have added a donation button added to my home screen. It is set for 5 dollars. I hope that if anyone feels the need to help, I will use the money to promote this page more (and even go for a Pro account with a .com).

Oh day of days continuum.

/ Codefreak / 1 Comment

I guess I should have waited to post yesterday. Life it seems was not done with me that day.

After getting home from the doctors, I was able to eat, calm down, and talk to my wife. She and I talked about how we were going to get through the weekend.

After we both had calmed down, she took the kids to the park and I sat down to rest. I was destressing and remembered that I had a rescheduled doctor’s appointment. I also had to let them know my availability for this next month as I have a few Conventions and thanksgiving coming up as per my agreement when I was hired.

I called them up and speak my boss and gave him the rundown of what was going on (he had been concerned earlier that week). I told him that I need Monday off for my appointment and the select other days off. He said ok, he understood my situation but that due to my lack of availability due to my kidney stones and the rest of my Conventions, he was going to have to fire me.

I was stunned.

I asked what had changed as we had agreed to my schedule being flexible and I was told they changed their plans and were needing a full time position and that with my needs they couldn’t keep me.

I stuttered and was confused and I asked if I could maybe work make up days to help cover or something. He refused and he thanked me for my work and that he would have liked to keep me but with all the stuff going on with me, he couldn’t keep me.

I thanked him for his time, he wished me the best and hung up.

I stood for a second, and then fell to my knees.

I didn’t know, I still don’t know what to do.

Ponies might not be enough…..

I am trying my friends. I just don’t know anymore.

Rolling stones.

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

I had a fun weekend. I managed to pass another kidney stone (that’s 2 so far for those keeping score). I was able to pass it without the extreme pain (fortunately). Still the discomfort was there and I did not the energy to do anything else but sleep.

Its been disappointing because I really had things to do. Places to go. People to see. Instead I was stuck sleeping 12 straight hours. While it sounds great, I woke up even more tired the next day.

I was not a happy camper.

My co-workers have been sympathetic to my pain. They have increased their water intake by 3-fold. While I am glad to promote such a healthy life style for them, I don’t believe the cost of pain was worth it.

Still, work is going well. I have been acclimating myself to office work (new to me). It is a whole different style of work. The fact that I can go to the bathroom whenever I need to has been a major plus. I hope it helps with this rocky problem I have been having.

Hug a pony my friends.

Those radio tunes.

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

I have been holding back a secret that I have been a part of for a few years now. Back in 2011, I was part of a online radio show called “The Bullshooting Show”. It was an online radio show that was designed to talk about just about everything. We had people call in about different topics and of course we had politics and video games and movies. All in all Myself and the cast that we had a great time. We reached over 11,000 listens and even had the owner of the program we used (Blog talk radio) email saying how much he liked our show.

Unfortunately, money and time grew thin and we had to end the show. People moved and life moved on.

But now, we are back. Under the banner of 1up Definitive studios (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChxK2xe28ZfO_jxR6FfJ43g) , we now are bringing back our radio show through Youtube (and hopefully Blog talk again).

I have been offered my own show (My stuffed little therapy) and am considering doing a weekly show. This is an exciting time. I cannot wait to see were I go from here. Give us a look!

Nightmare Nights Day 2

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

Another round of Nightmare Nights amazing cosplay!

image

image

image

image

(I must say a quick note about this one. These are some former coworkers of mine at Gamestop! They are amazing)

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

Amazing stuff!!! Sorry this was late, and now for day 3!!!

Just a stone’s throw.

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

I have not had a chance to write here in the past few days due to a medical complication. I managed to survive but it was not an easy ride. On this past Monday I was at work when I felt a slight pain at my side and the need to rush to the restroom. I sprinted (gently) to the room only to have the pain increase. I did my business and left feeling only slightly better. As I walked out of the room I was hit with some of the worse ( at this time) pain I had ever felt in my life.

I have had a kidney stone in the past. It was not a pleasant experience and I did not expect to repeat the performance. My colleges at work were extremely helpful and watched over me for about an hour until I could pull myself up off the floor. I was curled in the fetal position as I whimpered in pain. A completely helpless feeling.

I hate that.

I was driven home and crawled into bed on a heating pad. I was feeling better and could move around. I took it easy the rest of the day. And then the night came.

And also the pain.

I spent most of the night on the floor pleading with God asking for help. My cries of pain and agony woke my dearest wife. She sat helpless to help me as there was nothing she could do as this stone of great pain ripped through my body. When you have a kidney stone, you just try to find a position that relieves the pain some. Anything will help.

Hour upon hour passed until the dawn broke. Still the pain lasted. I sat on a heating pad for most of the day and drank as much water as I could. Pain came and went throughout the day but the evening came brought some relief. I had not seen the stone but I had hoped it passed. I ate some dinner (first real food I had eating besides a few small snacks). I felt well enough to hop on a video game and play with some friends. I had not been playing with them too long when once again I was struck with pain that overwhelmed the body.

Sweat and tears ran down my body. The agony had doubled and now there is no relief in sight. The hardest part is the fact there is no end. It is just constant pain. If it came in waves or if you could get a break (like I did during the daytime) I could have handled it much better. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but this broke me. I could not find relief. As a fever took hold of me, I stepped into the shower to cool my body and to help hydrate myself. Cool water washed over me, cooling me. it brought the pain down some. Some was the best I got.

Hour upon hour of straight agony is too much for anyone. I would not wish this upon my worse enemy. My body could not keep up with the pain. I threw everything I had eaten up in. Nausea washed over me. My stomach twisted with the rest of my body. No medication would stay down. Water that was drank would come up an hour later. I pushed and pushed trying, willing, pleading for the stone to move. Only one thing met me after each try.

More pain. More twisting.

Morning broke as I managed to grab about 20 min of restless sleep. After 12 straight hours of pain you would have hoped I would have passed out. I came to the realization that I would not be able to pass this without help. My wife and I went and dropped my daughters off with a friend. We then rushed to the ER. Agony was still my bedfellow as I was admitted. They gave me some heavy duty narcotics which, unfortunately, did not seem as heavy duty as they made them out to be.

And then the tests and scans came.

More meds and waiting followed.

After about 6 hours of being there, the doctor told me that I had mostly passed the stone and I was in the last stages of the process. She prescribed more meds for pain and to help push things along.

About an hour later I was the parent to a brand new kidney stone. I will never be able to truly put into words how painful and helpless it was. I did manage one picture (with a pony of course) that I will share. I hope you all have had a better time than I have this week. I will now go rest a body that is sore with muscles that should not be sore.

Hug a pony my friends. I now await my hospital bills…..

CR300xQVAAAglMi

The last day.

/ Codefreak / Leave a comment

My computer has been out of commission the last week or so. I have finally gotten back up and running and lo and behold, I am back to share my stores with you, dear reader!

It was my last day in retail. That in and of itself was a shock and change. I was busy most of the day handing off keys and getting the new manager set up with what he needed. I ended up saying goodbye to my staff and customers.

This was all made tougher as they decided to move my Assistant Manager to another store as well.

My staff was exceptionally kind to me. I was given several gifts (all ponies!!) and I was touched beyond words. Seeing the kindness that was given to me by someone, anyone else is always a shock for me. I honestly had trouble accepting it. I couldn’t say anything to them of course as I would never want to offend or upset anyone. Its just the thought of someone giving me something that I didn’t earn ( or felt I earned).

I was just being myself.

The day grew rougher as it seemed every person I had gotten to know as a regular at my store came. I call to mind two instances that broke me.

The first was a husband and wife who were not on the young side (or as they put it, “We are as old as dirt and then some!”). They were some of the few that did not make it in but I felt I needed to call them. The wife had been going through chemo for months and is still one of the most spunky, strong, and enduring person I have had the privilege knowing. Her husband was the Ying to her Yang. They would walk in the door and I would say the same thing each time.

“Here comes trouble.”

And there never was. They brightened every day I saw them and I will always remember them.

And then came the final customer of the day, and my career there.

To provide background on this transaction I will explain. I had a mom and daughter who would come in to shop with me. They had been shopping with me since the time I had moved to be a store manager. The daughter had a few mental disabilities but it didn’t stop her from being nice to everyone. The mom worked hard to make sure they had everything. I knew what games they played and what they would want before they stepped out of the car.

When I had first met them, the daughter was upset because she had seen quite a few people come through the store already. I took the time to explain who I was and let her know that I would be taking care of her and her mom. She got to know me and my family and never forgot to ask how my girls were doing.

Now some people saw her as a burden or a bother in the store (none of whom lasted long at my store). I made sure to take a bit of extra time with them so they were completely happy when they left my store.

Now back to the last day.

I was about to call this pair of favorites as I could not leave without saying goodbye. I was in my back room explaining to the new manger who they were and the special requirements they might need. I happened to look out of the corner of my eye to my security camera and saw them enter. I took a deep breath and asked the manager to follow me as I wanted to hand them off to him as it would help the transition.

The daughter saw me and lit up (as always) cheerfully calling out my name. I greeted her warmly and answered her questions about how I was doing and how my girls were doing. I said they were well but they were busy. She asked why and I told her that it was because it was my last day and I was having to move for family reasons.

She broke down crying in the middle of my store.

The other manager had to step away in an effort not to cry as well. She asked me why, and I explained it to her as best I could. She gave me a big hug, still crying. I told her she would be OK and that I was leaving a few people she knew. She told me that it wasn’t the same. I said that I knew but that she was going to be OK. She took me to her mom, still tears in her eyes and told her. Her mom was in shock. Slowly the daughter explained it to her and the mom understood. I took that moment to introduce them to the new store manager. He did a great job introducing himself and making a personal effort to let them know he was there for him. The daughter, then was drying her tears, comment on some of the pins on his lanyard. This was a sign for me that she was now thatching herself to him.

My heart almost broke in all this. I even for a moment questioned myself leaving, still knowing I had too. I rang them out for my last transaction. I then went to back room to collect myself.

This for me was why I did customer service. This is part of who I am. I have tried to show kindness and love to everyone.

And it hurts sometimes. If done right.

And that is OK.

I soon handed over my keys, clocked out, and said the last goodbyes to who was left. I will never forget my time in retail. I honestly believe that everyone should work a holiday in it to understand just how to treat other people. Life lessons that carry over to everything else.

Here’s to my staff and customers. I will never forget you.

Hug a pony my friends.

I want to thank Shop girl at http://shopgirlanonymous.com/ for all that you have done. It has been amazing working in retail at the same time as you. Sharing stories was always a favorite for me. If you hadn’t yet check out an amazing blog that I plan on still reading.