As always, I try and let you all enjoy a convention with me so I will once again be posting pictures of me at this year’s Nightmare Nights in Addison Texas. Let’s begin with day 1!
Hope to see you all tomorrow!
My computer has been out of commission the last week or so. I have finally gotten back up and running and lo and behold, I am back to share my stores with you, dear reader!
It was my last day in retail. That in and of itself was a shock and change. I was busy most of the day handing off keys and getting the new manager set up with what he needed. I ended up saying goodbye to my staff and customers.
This was all made tougher as they decided to move my Assistant Manager to another store as well.
My staff was exceptionally kind to me. I was given several gifts (all ponies!!) and I was touched beyond words. Seeing the kindness that was given to me by someone, anyone else is always a shock for me. I honestly had trouble accepting it. I couldn’t say anything to them of course as I would never want to offend or upset anyone. Its just the thought of someone giving me something that I didn’t earn ( or felt I earned).
I was just being myself.
The day grew rougher as it seemed every person I had gotten to know as a regular at my store came. I call to mind two instances that broke me.
The first was a husband and wife who were not on the young side (or as they put it, “We are as old as dirt and then some!”). They were some of the few that did not make it in but I felt I needed to call them. The wife had been going through chemo for months and is still one of the most spunky, strong, and enduring person I have had the privilege knowing. Her husband was the Ying to her Yang. They would walk in the door and I would say the same thing each time.
“Here comes trouble.”
And there never was. They brightened every day I saw them and I will always remember them.
And then came the final customer of the day, and my career there.
To provide background on this transaction I will explain. I had a mom and daughter who would come in to shop with me. They had been shopping with me since the time I had moved to be a store manager. The daughter had a few mental disabilities but it didn’t stop her from being nice to everyone. The mom worked hard to make sure they had everything. I knew what games they played and what they would want before they stepped out of the car.
When I had first met them, the daughter was upset because she had seen quite a few people come through the store already. I took the time to explain who I was and let her know that I would be taking care of her and her mom. She got to know me and my family and never forgot to ask how my girls were doing.
Now some people saw her as a burden or a bother in the store (none of whom lasted long at my store). I made sure to take a bit of extra time with them so they were completely happy when they left my store.
Now back to the last day.
I was about to call this pair of favorites as I could not leave without saying goodbye. I was in my back room explaining to the new manger who they were and the special requirements they might need. I happened to look out of the corner of my eye to my security camera and saw them enter. I took a deep breath and asked the manager to follow me as I wanted to hand them off to him as it would help the transition.
The daughter saw me and lit up (as always) cheerfully calling out my name. I greeted her warmly and answered her questions about how I was doing and how my girls were doing. I said they were well but they were busy. She asked why and I told her that it was because it was my last day and I was having to move for family reasons.
She broke down crying in the middle of my store.
The other manager had to step away in an effort not to cry as well. She asked me why, and I explained it to her as best I could. She gave me a big hug, still crying. I told her she would be OK and that I was leaving a few people she knew. She told me that it wasn’t the same. I said that I knew but that she was going to be OK. She took me to her mom, still tears in her eyes and told her. Her mom was in shock. Slowly the daughter explained it to her and the mom understood. I took that moment to introduce them to the new store manager. He did a great job introducing himself and making a personal effort to let them know he was there for him. The daughter, then was drying her tears, comment on some of the pins on his lanyard. This was a sign for me that she was now thatching herself to him.
My heart almost broke in all this. I even for a moment questioned myself leaving, still knowing I had too. I rang them out for my last transaction. I then went to back room to collect myself.
This for me was why I did customer service. This is part of who I am. I have tried to show kindness and love to everyone.
And it hurts sometimes. If done right.
And that is OK.
I soon handed over my keys, clocked out, and said the last goodbyes to who was left. I will never forget my time in retail. I honestly believe that everyone should work a holiday in it to understand just how to treat other people. Life lessons that carry over to everything else.
Here’s to my staff and customers. I will never forget you.
Hug a pony my friends.
I want to thank Shop girl at http://shopgirlanonymous.com/ for all that you have done. It has been amazing working in retail at the same time as you. Sharing stories was always a favorite for me. If you hadn’t yet check out an amazing blog that I plan on still reading.
#Brony
I have had so much fun with this the pat weekend and week. I just got back from my manger’s conference and I totally rocked being a brony. I got to show off my love for my fandom and got to pass out some new business cards. I have a few awesome stories to tell and thought I would share here. I would like to apologize for not posting much but life is overwhelming at the moment.
First off, I had the random stranger encounter in Viva Los Vegas! I was walking through the New York New Your casino, showing my roommate how to play craps. As we were standing there, I was approached by a wonderful couple who started listening to me explain the game. The husband saw my shirt and his mouth fell open.
“Is that a My Little Pony shirt?!?”‘
I replied with an affirmative (thanking my stars that I was wearing the ONLY pony shirt I had).
“Are you a Brony?” Came next.
Again I replied with a resounding yes.
“I didn’t think that you guys existed. I thought you were an internet myth!!”
I didn’t take offense. We talked for a few minutes and I answered some questions and explained a little bit of why I joined the fandom and dispelled some of the myths (crazy what people think of us as bronies!). I gave them a card, and if you are reading this Hi you made my day, and went on my way. It was a really cool encounter. One of the reasons I am so outgoing in my support of my passions is to be that liaison that we need. I can speak both normal and fandom and I feel I am a great way to bridge the gap for those who don’t know.
This started a rash of Twitter post by me for my work. They had a nice big screen that if you put in a #hashtag of a certain word, it would show your post on the big screen. I saw this as a great opportunity to do what I do best.
Post ponies.
So the following happened to be the 4 pictures that made it to the big screen, ALL THREE DAYS OF CONFERENCE!!! I was so proud.
All I can say is I was super stoked! I got a few replies to my tweets and I want to give a shout out to the rest of the Bronies who posted back or came up to me in person. Thank you all! It was so much fun to share a moment at my work like this.
And now, I need to rest as my hangover passes.
Hug a pony everyone!!!
I am writing this post in a few separate days as I wont to document my self and questions and thoughts that I am having without having to post it just yet. I feel that doing this will help me get through this week or at least these past few days.
48 Hours remaining:
I am laying in my bed and I can’t sleep. I go to the doctor on in three days for depression. I had swore to myself I would never take any drugs or do therapy with a psychiatrist. I don’t want some head doctor who gets kickbacks from Zoloft to recommend the latest, greatest pill popping solution. I have never felt fear about this like this before. Thoughts race through my head.
What if I get taken away?
What will happen to me?
Will it change me?
How will it change me?
I don’t want to give up my ponies.
Will my friends and family still recognize me?
It wasn’t until about a month ago that I was talking to a friend while working at a convention that I realized what my fear is. It is not the drugs per se, like I thought it was. It was the fear of being fixed. It is the fear that “Yes, I am not well” It is hard to acknowledge that you are broken.
I am still scared.
24 hours remaining:
I am in pain.
I find this a good thing. It is odd but whenever I plan on getting help is when my body starts to do better and makes me second guess myself about seeing a doctor about anything. I got the call to confirm the appointment tomorrow.
I confirmed.
I have had such a rough day. I was woken up by an alarm call at my store at 1 am, requiring me to go check it out. I was trying to go to bed early because of meetings all day the next day. I sat in over 8 hours of meetings, along with a 2 hour car ride to get to said meeting and back. My body has been through so much stress with this meeting (lots of work changes) and with seeing the doctor tomorrow. I have been just holding on.
And then, life happens.
We are during our lunch break when my boss comes up to me and asks if I remember an old coworker. I told him I did but that I hadn’t seen him in about 2 years. My boss gave me his phone and said read this. I read through some messages from an old manager peer who was informing my boss that the employee I knew had committed suicide last week. He had sent pictures from the funeral.
That kinda tumbled my day the rest of the way down the drain.
I am now home, resting, waiting.
This final day of waiting…
Day zero:
I awoke to a knot of anxiety in my chest. Cold sweets and pain are my bed fellows. I have a few hours left. Even now i second guess myself. My throat and mouth are cotten dry. My back aches and groans.
And yet, I still wonder if I should see the doctor.
I am still emotionally with friends who are reeling from the lost of one of us. We all talked about how fine he was when we last saw him.
Suicide is never painless.
Zero hour:
I am in the waiting room. They have just taken my paperwork. There were several times I almost turned around driving here.
My arms locked on the steering wheel.
My breath is erratic.
I am beyond stressed.
Oh, my dear foe. We meet again.
I promise myself, I will not cry.
We have done this dance for 15 years. At last, we will see if I can get some help.
It is time. They have called me. My last feeling is:
Too many to describe. I thought i could find one but i can’t.
Hug a pony my friends. I know mine is clutched tight. I will see you in the aftermath.
A storm of despair is brewing for me at work. Hours cut, budgets slashed, everyone in crisis mode. My strength is going to be tested. I will need my family dearly, and my plushies close. I fear that this will be a bad time. I look at this though with some hope as I can see this one coming. The storms I can prepare for are always easier for me. I work hard at improving myself and I am doing better at dealing with the ones that pop up. I have also looked into changing my horizons. Those far off dreams that seem out of reach in my mind, are now not so far. Touching that glimpse of greatness that I can be has been a tremendous encouragement for me.
I spent a good 20 minutes with my Big Shy plush yesterday after work. It still amazes me that it can stem off headaches and calm me down. Some people have told me how strange it is, but my response is still the same. If it works, but looks strange, why would you care. It helps me and that is all that matters.
Hug a pony my friends.