I have had a bad week. I hit chronic pain levels I had not hit in a long time. My body hit a new bottom, ending with me being hit with a case of acid reflux so bad I had fluids coming out of both ends of my body. Not the pretty picture you want to read with your morning coffee I am sure.
But hey, chronic living is not pretty life.
I do want to say that when these dips and valleys in life hit, it becomes hard to post and to replay to people. Real life friends and blog commentators all seem to fall to the wayside. That further deepest the pit of despair that someone like me lives in. My bottom hit with me coming home after a very long day and going to straight to my bed, covering up in a My Little Pony blanket, grabbing my favorite plushie, put on a headset to block out all sound, and played music I know that helps calm me down. It took over 2 hours to get to a point to speak again. I remember clutching the headset to clamp it down over my ears to make sure all I heard was the music. It was my recovery time.
I started to try and pull myself out of the valley the next day when I was hit with the sickness that let me in bathroom for hours. Dehydration was the next thing to hit followed by the severe headache from not have the water in my system. I looked to my promise of making this year the best I have had in a while.
I looked for joy in others.
I saw my good friend just started on the road to starting his own business.
I saw my brother compete in his new sports car in a slalom event and hearing him giggle as he sped his car through the track.
I looked to my roommate who got a new mattress for his room and cleaned out all the old junk and is starting fresh.
I took the joys of others and I pressed forward. It was then that I got news for myself.
A job opportunity.
I found a part time position (10-20 hours a week) that I can work from home on my computer. This will allow me to still homeschool and watch my daughters, let me keep babysitting my friends 2 year old during the week, and I wont have to take up the vehicle so my wife can continue to pursue her dream of being the breadwinner and keep her business going.
Talk about a break.
Now I still have tests to pass and get the little details worked out but I have gotten my foot in the door and am at least going to be given the opportunity to help out the family more. My prayers could be answered in this.
I still have a few major items, like finding a new place to stay in a month, make enough money to pay the bills, and find (also afford) another car, but I have at least gotten a foothold in the hill climb to get me out of a pit I have been in for several years now.
Is the light up there really reachable?
Time will tell. I will keep climbing and grasping for the light.