Furry Utopia

I have been part of the furry fandom for a long time now. It started back in the 90’s. When I was a teenager, I would go around and wear a rubber dog nose and sometimes act like a dog. I would hold out my hands like paws, scratch my head, stick out my tongue, and pant. Why did I do this? Two reasons.

Because it was fun.

Because it made people laugh.

I loved going to Wal-Mart and walking around with my mom and sisters and have them watch peoples reactions. My favorite was the laughter or the smiles on people’s faces. Seeing very rarely act or respond back with saying “Such a good boy” or “Oh my goodness”. The children who just laughed and thought I was the greatest, funniest thing they have ever seen. I enjoyed making people smile.

Unfortunately, there where others.

There were parents who saw their kids laughing or smiling, and yanked on there hand and pulled the child away telling them not to look at me. I had a few grandmothers who looked at me in disgust and say how shameful I was. One came up to my mother and told her to get me ” help” because I was acting out. It was a sad but very real reaction to some of the people we share this planet with.

Fast forward to more recent.

I still enjoy wearing crazy things. I have a wonderful hat (as can be seen on my video blog) that has crazy fluffy ears that are so much fun. I still get the same reactions from people, good and bad, though this time I have my kids around. My daughters have grown up with me and my ears or even sometimes tails that I wear in public and they think that is just normal for dad to wear. My youngest has started wearing a few things herself. The looks from parents are scalding to the touch. I see the hate about how not only am I that weird person buy now I am corrupting my child with this nonsense.

Now, people know furries from two places. The first is from a CSI episode that appeared over a decade ago. The episode (“Fur and Loathing“) show grown adults who are out of control in a sexual orgy. Great representation of furries. The second place is the Internet. Again, a few quick pictures and the main thing that pops out is the sexual deviant behavior that appears. I have often wondered why is this the first thing people see.

Well, sex sells.

From these two places, the rest of the world now looks upon those who wear ears and tails or even have a full fursuit (a full body suits) as these sexually depraved people that are to be shunned.

This makes me sad.

I know this is only my perspective and point of view but I am someone from the community. I feel I can speak for it.

Is there aspects of the community that are less than sunshine and rainbows? Absolutely. This is true in most aspects of life. I recall to mind the “50 Shades of Grey” phenomenon that came from the Twilight craze. Somehow, that was accepted by many and made into a best selling book and movie series. Again sexual deviant, but this time widely accepted.

To me, this doesn’t seem fair.

I have been accepted by my family and friends in what I like. I enjoy making people laugh. One of my close friends say it’s me getting in touch with my shamanistic Native American side of my. I smile to see her rationalize my behavior. My sister drew me a wonderful depiction of my “fursona” (the furry representation of my persona).


Another friend for my birthday had a badge for me to were at conventions.


Adorable and brought in my brony side as well.

I hope the tides are changing. I just recently saw the new Disney movie Zootopia. It is an anthromophic (animals portrayed acting as in human manner) cop buddy story. I went and saw it (with ears on of course) and I saw the furry connection everywhere. There were many jokes to the furry community. Disney seems to be a solid source of positive furry promotion. From movies like Oliver and Company and Robin Hood, there is plenty of material to support furries.

I also had an article sent to me about Syrian refugees who ended up at the same hotel as a furry convention. It seemed like a clash made for the ages.

But it ended up way different than anyone expected.


The children loved it. The parents were in shock but we’re happy for the kids. A wonderful representation of who the community is supposed to represent.

I have never been ashamed to say it. I am proud to be a furry. Yes, there are aspects of the community that are less than desirable, at least for me, but please don’t brand us all as terrible people. We just want to make the world smile by being silly. We feel safer hiding behind fur and ears and tails. It helps us control the anxiety or depression we might be suffering from. It gives us a chance to act or be someone different.

I am a furry Internet. I expect your rage and resentment. Bring it on.

#hugafurry my friends.

Finding joy.

I know I m an odd duck. I tend to run against the grain. I like a show about ponies, I dress like a furry, I make friends of all races and backgrounds. I enjoy helping people to the point of giving away anything I have if they need it. I will put myself in the line of suffering if it means lessening that of others. I will hurt myself to help someone else. I am not that eloquent a speaker (except with enough preparedness, at least that is what I am told). I feel my writing is good. I like to hold my plushie when I am sad. So why am I saying all this?

I am trying to ground myself.

I am trying to give myself a place at which I can write, from so I can clear some junk out of my soul.

Cause people are upset with me.

I have several people upset with me. I spoke my heart and they got upset. They took what I said and sharpened the points and threw the words back like a spear.

It always hurts when it comes from someone who is close to you. All of mine came from close people.

It is the new year and I have been asked how long I am going to keep up my “charades”? I must be doing this for the shock factor. My life cannot be like this. Why am I so childish? Why don’t I grow up?

Oh to be in London now the ” haters” are here.

Is it true that you don’t “make it” unless you have hate mail?

I will admit, I have not been a strong person in this area. I am not one that can easily roll things off my back. Part of me caring so much is I get to personally involved. It is easy to get to me.

I happen to think it is one of the reasons I am so lovable, but that’s just me.

I have been under attack for what I like and believe in. I understand that people wont understand everything about me. If people did, then I am just a yes man.

I am just here to say, I am determined to find Joy this year. I was told that happiness is in the moment and that, with my personality, I tend to look toward the time when happiness ends. Joy is something you have to look for and find. It last longer and keeps you going. It is a driving force instead of being in moment. It is ALL the moments because you look for it in each moment.

Now I know that my Joy comes from my faith. I have never been pushy about it, but it is something that I celebrate when it comes time. I give thanks to my God for my Joy.

And I find Joy in my ponies, plushies, and nice furry ears and tail.

Hug a pony my friends.

Roller Coaster Ride.

I find myself growling at everyone and everything. The mood I have been in has been terrible for the past week. I cannot find a way to shake it. I am taking everything hyper personal. The world is out to get me.

Or at least that is how i am taking it.

I am tired of being told that i take things to personal. I am a person. You tell me something. How am i supposed to not take it personally? I am getting real tired of people telling me things that “I take the wrong way”. Why can’t it be someone else’s fault? I am tired of baring the burden of the world.

My shoulders are tired.

I should be happy. I got my car working again. I am looking to sell it now. Not too much luck there. Everyone else can sell their cars in a day for twice the asking price, but i get told that my heap is worth $137.

I am trying to dig myself out of this hole i am in. I feel buried alive.

I hate myself.

I feel bad that I am having trouble caring about things.

I feel guilty that I can’t feel better.

My heart sags under the weight of know that I am a burden to others.

I feel I cannot speak my mind because my opinion doesn’t not hold weight.

People say they care, and they want to listen. I sit quietly and hold and comfort them. I wait patiently for my turn. But when my turn comes, I just am complaining.

My opinions don’t matter.

My ponies don’t fix that,  no matter how much I hug then.

Trapped in my head screaming but no one can hear me.

Black and white and red all over.

There has been huge changes in the social landscape over the past few weeks. I know a few that has affected my town, my state and the entire country. There have been battle lines drawn and fingers pointed. There have been yelling and screaming and shouting from rooftops. There have been friendships ended and new ones forged. Facebook has become a battleground of social issues.

And I hate it.

I find myself more and more hating social media. Yes this is hypocritical of me as I use it and promote through it. I also enjoy the family and friends I get to converse with.

But this hate needs to stop.


I am tired of being labeled as black because I don’t agree with white.

I am tired of being told that I am a “white lover” because I don’t agree with black.

(For sake of clarity, I am using “black and white” as showing two sides to an issue, not as a skin colour)

The problem now days is people HAVE to label other people. It does not matter how they think or what they think. People must be labeled. They must be categorized, quantified, and put in a box.

Why is that?

Where does that lead?

It causes division. ‘

I hated division.

I hate being thrown into the farthest depths of a social issue just because I disagree with you. I hate people who assume that because of my belief or life style or skin colour or age or sex or ANYTHING AT ALL, I must believe or think some way.

This leads to division.

And that is just on the road to hate.

I rarely see honest, opinionated discussions that don’t end with “YOU ARE A BIGOT” or some other derogatory remark. Just because I disagree with you or your life style or anything does not mean I hate you.

My belief calls on me to love everyone as myself.

I try my best.

I also love ponies.

Hug a pony my friends.

PS This is not directed at anyone or any group or anything. This is just about hate no matter who it comes from.