Roller Coaster Ride.

I find myself growling at everyone and everything. The mood I have been in has been terrible for the past week. I cannot find a way to shake it. I am taking everything hyper personal. The world is out to get me.

Or at least that is how i am taking it.

I am tired of being told that i take things to personal. I am a person. You tell me something. How am i supposed to not take it personally? I am getting real tired of people telling me things that “I take the wrong way”. Why can’t it be someone else’s fault? I am tired of baring the burden of the world.

My shoulders are tired.

I should be happy. I got my car working again. I am looking to sell it now. Not too much luck there. Everyone else can sell their cars in a day for twice the asking price, but i get told that my heap is worth $137.

I am trying to dig myself out of this hole i am in. I feel buried alive.

I hate myself.

I feel bad that I am having trouble caring about things.

I feel guilty that I can’t feel better.

My heart sags under the weight of know that I am a burden to others.

I feel I cannot speak my mind because my opinion doesn’t not hold weight.

People say they care, and they want to listen. I sit quietly and hold and comfort them. I wait patiently for my turn. But when my turn comes, I just am complaining.

My opinions don’t matter.

My ponies don’t fix that,  no matter how much I hug then.

Trapped in my head screaming but no one can hear me.

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