I find myself growling at everyone and everything. The mood I have been in has been terrible for the past week. I cannot find a way to shake it. I am taking everything hyper personal. The world is out to get me.
Or at least that is how i am taking it.
I am tired of being told that i take things to personal. I am a person. You tell me something. How am i supposed to not take it personally? I am getting real tired of people telling me things that “I take the wrong way”. Why can’t it be someone else’s fault? I am tired of baring the burden of the world.
My shoulders are tired.
I should be happy. I got my car working again. I am looking to sell it now. Not too much luck there. Everyone else can sell their cars in a day for twice the asking price, but i get told that my heap is worth $137.
I am trying to dig myself out of this hole i am in. I feel buried alive.
I hate myself.
I feel bad that I am having trouble caring about things.
I feel guilty that I can’t feel better.
My heart sags under the weight of know that I am a burden to others.
I feel I cannot speak my mind because my opinion doesn’t not hold weight.
People say they care, and they want to listen. I sit quietly and hold and comfort them. I wait patiently for my turn. But when my turn comes, I just am complaining.
My opinions don’t matter.
My ponies don’t fix that, no matter how much I hug then.
Trapped in my head screaming but no one can hear me.
One thought on “Roller Coaster Ride.”
You just go ahead and complain. Your life for the past eight weeks has been an unbelievable horror show. Your feelings are legit. And, as you know, things also will get better.