The quicker picker upper post.

Yesterday was a really rough day. Some personal things fell through, I was overly stressed taking my final test for the job (still no idea if I passed) and then I ended the day with a migraine.

It was not my favorite.

I had a close friend of mine give me some encouragement. I will refer to her as the Tea friend. Tea was so amazing and helpful because she goes through hell and back and still manages to take time to help me and others. She is one I look at and question my own pain and it makes me realize that I have no place to complain at times. She has been a wonderful friend for years and I love her dearly. She was also one of the friends that help me meet my wife.

I cannot thank her enough.

I am thinking, because life is about to be crazy for the next month, I am going to do a series on thanking people in my life. I hope it encourages you to remember to thank everyone around you.

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Ebb and flow.

I find myself in more and more of a bad mood. I am constantly having to check myself as I go about my day. I am growling at friends and family, and I am so exhausted all the time.

Ah depression, how I know thee.

I have had a bad run of things in the past month. Each time I thought me and mine’s life might be turning better, Life would find a way to knock the legs out from under us. I have cried more this past month than I have for almost 5 years. I have seen pain and heartache from the people I care the most about. And I have been sleeping hugging a pony.

I am not sure if it is helping.

I find depression likes to hold you down. It makes you want to stay in bed because facing the day is just too much. My days tend to be long and with with lots of people, some good some bad. The social interaction can wear on me as an introvert. It builds and builds until I am worn out. It doesn’t help the way I think or act as well.

For example.

I will have a plush pony on my person pretty at all times. I keep them in my pocket or on my belt loop. I sometimes need a quick rub of a plush’s nose to help my body calm down. It works very similarly to a security blanket. The problem comes when judgemental people see them and do what they do best.

Judge.

I know I have faced criticism from all fronts and have been put up as a spokesman of sorts as I can tend to voice reason with people. Others are not so lucky. I have had more than one person come to me scared because the secret is out about liking My Little Pony. I congratulate them and say welcome to the herd. They all get nervous and scared.

I hate that.

Why do you have to live in fear because of something that you like? Why do we not allow blankets and teddy bears after the age of 6? Is it because they don’t need “baby things”? Is it because we have to grow up?

I just will keep on keeping on. I will continue to be a safe person to come to about these things. Know my friends  that I will not back down. Even depressed as I might be at times, it just goes to show that I take the medicine that I talk about.

Tonight I will sleep, hugging a pony my friends.

Basic reading.

Ah, retail. How you make me feel so loved. I honestly feel like shopping brings out the worse in people. Be it from the people who tell their children to not say please or thank you to me because I am there to serve them (true story). Or the people who think they should be the exception to every rule and I should be glad they gave me a chance to fix an issue (also a true story).

Or my personal favorite at the moment, “You should have told me about this.”

“But Ma’am, we sent emails and let 2 phone messages and the automated calls went through for everyone else”

“Well you must not be trying hard enough!”

Still, we enter a scene were I was told we did not inform the customer of when an item was coming out. And play:

“Excuse me sir, My son said he cannot have the item he put money down on a while ago. Why won’t you let him have it?”

(Me) “Let me see sir. Ok the item he is wanting is not out yet, It was delayed by a few months and won’t be out for a few months.”

“That is Bull****, he wasn’t informed of this. Why didn’t you tell him?”

“Well sir, I just believe I did. I am sorry I don’t have the item. If I did, I would be glad to sell it to you.” (And come on, what retailer wouldn’t love to sell more stuff? “No please, I don’t want your money”)

“Well what are you going to do now?”

“Well sir, I can refund your money, no problem.”

The gentleman grumbles and hands me a receipt. I process the transaction and give him his son’s money back. As I am handing him the money I notice his old receipt.

“And here is your full refund. Also sir, I wish to point out that on the receipt itself it shows a date of June for your item. It printed out the date when you put the hold on it”

The man looks at me.

“What? You expect me to read that? Why would I read that?”

*exasperated sigh

I am hugging a pony……

Storms on the horizon.

A storm of despair is brewing for me at work. Hours cut, budgets slashed, everyone in crisis mode. My strength is going to be tested. I will need my family dearly, and my plushies close. I fear that this will be a bad time. I look at this though with some hope as I can see this one coming. The storms I can prepare for are always easier for me. I work hard at improving myself and I am doing better at dealing with the ones that pop up. I have also looked into changing my horizons. Those far off dreams that seem out of reach in my mind, are now not so far. Touching that glimpse of greatness that I can be has been a tremendous encouragement for me.

I spent a good 20 minutes with my Big Shy plush yesterday after work. It still amazes me that it can stem off headaches and calm me down. Some people have told me how strange it is, but my response is still the same. If it works, but looks strange, why would you care. It helps me and that is all that matters.

Hug a pony my friends.