Life is fickle. It loves to play with me. I sometimes feel like a ball of yarn for a cat to play with. Life wouldn’t be life without a few curve balls but it sometimes just feel like it comes out of left field.

From a another stadium.

Both my cars are on the knife’s edge. It started off slow with my van’s tires needing replacing. They had just been replaced earlier this year so something else was wrong. I took it to get an alignment checked and lo and behold, more trouble. The front mounts are shot and need replacing. About a grand to replace. The van has over 215,000 miles on it so it becomes tricky because putting money into isn’t the best long term option.

Well, this makes life fun.

So I decide to take my car to get the alignment checked because of a bad shaking in the rear axle. I take it up there and SURPRISE more bad news. The back tires are bald and the alignment is off. They try and fix it, and once again it is never that simple. The rear mounts are bent and need replacing. Those only cost another 300 bucks to get replaced, then new tires, and another alignment. So because I like to live dangerously, I declined service because I am not made of money.

Now I am more than grateful as the van was given to me, and the car has kept my wife safe in 2 different accidents. I know and count my blessings. I have a job, a wonderful family who loves me. I have been hit with a lot of death this year, work troubles, and other personal events (just read this blog to find out about those). But through all this I have tried to push through with things to help me (PONIES!). I just feel failure because it doesn’t seem like I can keep all the balls in the air. I have been told I am a master juggler with things. Truth be told, I don’t know how it all stays up.

So with this, I have no hopeful ending. No triumph or happiness to end this post. Just me hugging ponies. I am my own worst critic and will drive myself to be the very best (Pokemon!). I always end up disappointing myself.

Hug a pony, my friends. I know I will.

Very few times at my job am I able to be vindicated in a conversation with a customer. I usually end up apologizing to them and doing what they ask and pray they don’t get mad. I have very little power in retail so I use what I have as best as I can.

I Had a husband and wife come in looking for an item for their daughter and knew exactly what they wanted. Their daughter gave them a list and they came prepared. Or so they thought.

The item they wanted doesn’t exist.

It was a combination of two items that are separate and where, at one time, together all in one system but was an original model that overheated and they stopped making them. The wife insisted that the newer model still did the job of 2 machines when in fact it did not. I explained to the customer that what they wanted did not exist and that I had the original model that did all that they wanted but the slimmer model was not able to do the work. Big surprise, they argued.

A lot.

They said they were sure that their daughter and her man (husband, boyfriend, guy friend?) knew what they were talking about and was I sure  I knew what I was talking about. I assured them that yes I knew what they wanted and that in fact I knew specifically that the model does not exist and yes I know their daughter was smart, but she is mistaken.

They called the daughter.

Through hushed whisper on the phone, they asked her if she was sure. She told them, yes she was right. She told them to go to a different store because I didn’t know what I was talking about. She claimed to have the newer model system that did everything she wanted and she wanted another.  Through the side of the phone conversation I heard, I could practically hear the “He is an idiot and doesn’t know anything” conversation happening.

Its OK, I am used to it.

They finally decided that they would bring in the system to show me that I was wrong and they were right. This is after thirty minutes of talking.

In a retail environment.

Half an hour, and they were going to take another 15 minutes to come up and prove me wrong.

I sighed.

So we wait for them to come in. I help other customers, make a phone call or two just to make sure I wasn’t forgetting to do some weird wild circumstance that I missed. I was agreed with on all fronts. Finally they come in. I check the system serial number and the settings and do my checks. I then check the system function that was in question.

Surprise, surprise, I was right.

The daughter and the guy were flabbergasted. How was I right? They were sure they checked the system. How was I right? Did I do it correctly? Was I sure? This was impossible. In all this the father broke in the conversation. He asked her to stop questioning me and that I was right to the fullest amount, and she needed to apologize to me.

Shocking, no?

The daughter mumbled something and they left without buying anything. The mom and dad came by, thanked me for my time and patience. They shock my hand and left.

I get very few wins in retail. I get even fewer apologizes. I chalk this up to a win.

Hug a pony my friends.

It was a day. I have been through several years of Black Fridays and this one is up there. It wasn’t the fact of people breaking out in fights (Which surprisingly did not happen this year) or the gross amount of people cursing at me and threatening my job (which DID happen this year).

It was different.

It was slower then other black Fridays. I did not have as many transactions or sales as I have had in years pass. The foot traffic, so far, seems less. But something was off.

It was the people.

I have talked to many a folk around me and this year we agree that people’s attitudes were more than terrible this year. We know we have a lot of grumpy people out and about, but this year was different. We didn’t have those good greatful customers to counter the bad. The average customer was ten times worse than normal. EVERYONE was grumpy and upset.

It makes for a long, long day.

And so, my friends, take time to thank you retail/food server people who work the holidays. It means a lot to us. I, myself, have taken to going out of my way to thank someone each day. Spread the love people. In the motto of the Bronies, who I am a part of, Love and Tolerate.

I will do my best in this. Hug a pony.

I have placed a 24 hour ban on talking about work. We are relaxing and giving thanks today. May you and yours be blessed. I am cuddling with a stuffed pony and family and am going to forget about my job for bit.

I do apologize as I have been neglecting my blog. I have needed it many times but life has found a way to grapple with me to make it nih but impossible to get on.

Black Friday is coming, and working retail as i do has made me quite jaded when it comes to holidays. I have dreaded these coming days like a man waiting a jury to come back from trial. These days are worn me down.

I have not had chance to update due to me coming home and failing asleep on my comfortable couch. Weariness has take its toll and pushed me for more sleep. Also, sleep is an escape for me. Its the first sign of true, deep set depression for me.  I must tread carefully. 

I will update as much as I can, for your sake and mine. Work is taking my time so i can’t make promises to update.

Hug a pony my friends.

I have not had time to write as work is gearing up for black friday. Here is my thought for today

I like to think I have a more positive attitude about life with this blog. Its a way to vent and share feelings and possibly help others. I feel I have a good perspective of strength and willpower.  I had planned coming on here to share some hardships I have had, and some friend’s times of trouble. I enjoy getting to vent and release feelings that are built up. Anger and depression about people around me passing away or a car that was stolen. Its easy to be angry.

Then I watched a video.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/richardhjames/father-sings-to-his-dying-newborn-son-after-losing-his-wife?bffbvideo&s

I cried.

I would like to say I cried manly tears to show my strength, but that wasn’t what this was about. This was about someone who has gone through things that so few people with go through. And yet, he remains composed enough to issue a statement, thanking people for support and ends it with Love is all you need.

I really don’t have words right now. I read that, after all he has been through and he responds with that. I am at a loss for words. So powerful.

Hug a pony my friends.
#loveisallyouneed

Dear readers. I am very tired. I have been working 20 of the past 30 hours. My body is sore and i have been drained. I have lots of thoughts as so much has happened in the past few days. I will get to those as my mind clears. Right now, I need rest. I do want to say thank you as I have seen so much traffic on my blog. It is encouraging to know people care to check up on it. Thank you all.

Time for some tea (Earl Grey, hot) and to nuzzle a pony.

Friends. A great TV show but also something I have needed in my life.  I have enjoyed talking to people and hanging out but I am naturally socially awkward. I have been called many names over the years. Shy, Quite, The Queer Kid, all of them hurt.  But the few friends I have made have been with me through a lot.

My best friend in the whole world is my wife. She and I met in college and started hanging out. I was dating another girl at the time and my future wife saw she was a bad choice for me and would let me know it. She was there through the break up and the get back together and then the final break up. She stood by watching me make mistakes and told me not too and then help whip me into shape when I got depressed. After awhile we did grow closer together and ended up deciding to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I will never forget our wedding and the theme was “I married my best friend.” I love you my dear.

Another great friend I have known for years is kinda of a ladies man. He and I have known each other for about 14 years now and we still remained close. When we met I was still struggling to find out what kind of person I would be (not easy for a nerdy geek who reads a lot to live in southwest Georgia). He was a hyperactive high-schooler who just didn’t seem to grow up. We had some epic clashes and our personalities seem like 2 complete opposites, but together, with a third friend who was kinda of a catalyst, We have helped each other through the roughest times.

I have a good amount of friends now days and always seem to add more, even being the Gamer geek brony hodgepodge of a person I am. I salute each and every one of them and hopefully will be able to write about each one of them. We had some over for dinner last night and were about to play a few games and it turned out to be a great relaxing evening. One I have not had in a while.

Thank you all.

If you are reading this, know that you are my friend, dear reader. We will share a bond that authors have and that is special. You get to share in my joys and sorrows. While this is mainly a one way street, there are ways to leave comments and share your feelings as well. I will admit that opening yourself up is difficult (just doing this blog is hard) but it does share the burden with others. Just remember, you are a friend, I care for each of you, and lets help each other.

Hug a pony my friends.

I have a purpose for this blog. Actually I have several, but I will focus on the main ones. I believe some people do not understand my meaning behind this writing I do and I would like to better explain myself.

First of all, this blog is for me. It is not technically not for anyone else as far as therapy, but for me to express myself in writing. It’s a way to vent, release these pent up emotions that threaten to drown me. I express myself better in writing. I have a way with words on a paper that I don’t in speaking. My mind races at a million miles an hour and, for me to write, makes me slow down enough to focus on getting everything off my chest.

DOWN WITH THE RAGE MONSTER!

Second, I feel I can write well. I enjoy it and I believe I have a knack for it. I have been published with poetry that I have written. I also think this helps me to expand my writing capabilities.

I am so humble, I know.

I also believe I can be of help to people that suffer through some of the same things that I do. Being there, showing others that they are not alone in their misery. I have my credentials in the being depressed department and how to deal with it. I also have helped others in past and I feel I can do more in the future.

After you have sat with someone who was trying to jump down an elevator shaft for an hour and realize you have stood in the same spot, it is a wake up call.

And Last, for now, I do enjoy my Ponies (from My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic) and the plush toys. I enjoy the show and the fandom that comes with it. I use this as a help for me. As part of a therapy, I have found that plushies have a way of calming me down. Not something I know for everyone, but don’t knock it until you try it.

I am the one who knocks…and hugs ponies.