I have no problem working 44+ hours a week for my job. I have dont even have a big problem with working that extra 4+ hours and not getting paid for it cause I am salary. I work hard all the time and try and be the best employee I can.

That being said.

I have hit a point in my job where I cannot “leave” work. It follows me home, it wakes me up in the morning, it interrupts dinner. If I add the time it takes away from my “free” time to my work hours, how much time off work do i have? The only answer i can come up with is, not a lot. This is also why I dont like the holidays. I see other people spending time with their families as I spend less time with mine. My friends largely consist of fellow employees (I love you all dearly, to be sure) but not too many others.
I feel my time is being taken away from me one hour long conference call at a time.

Time to hug a pony.

I am tired. I know its normal for people to be tired at the end of the day. I just am weary and worn out. It is about this time when my mind starts going to bad places. It is these bad places that I try to avoid with bright pastel ponies. It is these ponies that keep my spirits up sometimes. I enjoy this fandom, the show, and the people. So with chin up, I will press on. I will take the road less traveled by.

So After a lovely weekend at a Brony convention call Nightmare Nights (I plan on posting more about that later), I find myself back at work yet again. I was unexpectedly greeted by HORDES of families to my extreme confusion. Evidently, I was unaware that the local children were off school today, much to my dismay. I happened to also have a scheduling snafu that had 4 people trying to be onboarded (HR paperwork for a new job) all throughout today. This was also on top if the normal incoming boxes, outgoing shipments, counts that need to be done every week. Also, today is when I have a mandatory conference call, which I have to give parts of and be prepared with 2 hours prep. All this by myself for most of the day.

Stressful right?

So I ended up giving myself a break and deciding that what I do is the best of my ability (I have always felt I do my best and try to even do better) and not worry about it so much. I am one man (who likes ponies) and I cannot bare the weight of the world.

Now to hug a pony for stress relief.

So, I am doing something positive for myself and went to a Brony convention in town called Nightmare Nights! Here are some pics from day one.

I have gotten my computer back to limping and am able to make a short post. Its not good. I am stressed to the point of breaking. I feel like I am being stretched to my limits and then some. I know this is good growth but how can it be growth if it is hurting me. I know good pain, and this is not it. How can you grow when you are too tired to stop. The pain should drive me to greater heights and instead it is bringing me to my knees. I am bearing burdens that are 3 times the normal. I can only hope the powder that remains of me can make a comeback.

My computer has burnt up. At least one part. Dont know how bad the damage is. Posts will be limited.

I hate being stressed out. I have the usual list of work, family, life, and work (yes twice as much work). I just have a bad time with handling stress. I am not known for my long term stress relief. I psych myself out all the time, and will have an immediate bad reaction. Now, once my brain processes the information and I can sort things out, I do OK. But, there are some bad lows for me.

Last night I had a lot on my mind. So much work has pilled up. I was stressed out, trying to go to sleep. My beautiful wife was trying to sleep next to me. She felt the tension coming off of me. There was so much stress coming off of me, she was getting nauseated. I wasn’t talking or doing anything, and it was affecting my wife. That of course in turn was stressing me even more, and so on. Needless to say, it was a bad night. I like my sleep, my wife REALLY likes her sleep, and I like my wife to sleep. It was fun times.

Now to hug a pony and get some sleep.

I did my best today to put on my best face I could. I am exhausted. I have worked over 40 hours and I haven’t finished my work week. I feel like I am running a fever. I had an early call (actually 2 but I can’t be in two places at once). I am beat down.

But, I did spend some time yesterday with big plush and help me through yesterday and got a nice nights sleep. I went into work and made myself smile. I forced myself to be happy. For once it worked.I managed to get through the whole day.

Now I get to throw myself into bed and pass out.