1. My God. My faith and belief keep me going. The steadfast base of who I am comes from my beliefs. Why I am a kind, nice, helping person comes from my faith. I will not stop believing. I will not compromise what I believe in. I believe in it, you dont have too.

2. My employees. They care for me. They try and send me home when they know I have worked too much. They try and do whatever they can to help out and not bother me.

3. My customers. The good ones anyways. These are the ones who come in with a cookie because they know I haven’t had a break today. These are the ones who spend time and talk and actually care about me as a person.

1. I am alive today. I know this seem basic but I truly mean it. I have been through a lot in my life and I am still here. I have faced that choice to end my life on my own terms before and I have, happily, walked away. I am beyond grateful for family and friends.

2. I have a job. While it causes me much stress and headache, I have a job in this economy. I can pay my bills and feed my family. My wife does not work and I have to be the solo provider for the family. I am very thankful for the opportunity I have.

3. Gaming. I have a passion for games. I love the medium and continue to look forward to the changes coming to the community. Games have been a distraction from bad times and a way to socialize with new people. They have been my hobby but instead of Golf or cars I have video games. Games have been a big part of my life and I can’t wait to play more!

I have 2 post today! Actually its a check me out on Twitter post!! Follow me on Twitter @stuffedtherapy to see all my updates! As it happens I was the 2,000 person on a good friend and buddy’s Twitter @RedbeardCaptain!

I was challenged by my sister to do the positive thinking challenge and come up with 3 things each day that are positives in my life. I was challenged a few weeks ago but as I hate the internet craze that goes around every month, I generally try not to participate. This however, I feel will help reinforce what this blog means to me.

1. My wife. She is my rock, She helps me every day. She does her best when she doesn’t understand me. She works with me to find the best in me. She pushes me to be better, and she is honest with me. She is brutally honest which I need. I would not be where I am today without her. I fought for her, will continue to fight for her, and look forward to spending every second of time with her. I love you my dearest.

2. My Daughters. Both of you are my pride and joy. You are smarter than anyone your age or 10 years older. I cannot believe the passion for life you both have. I remember the days when each one of you was born. I remember cutting the cord, giving you both the freedom of life. I have accepted the responsibility of raising you the best way possible.

3. Ponies. Yes, Ponies. I have enjoyed the community and the people of My Little Pony:Friendship is magic. It has been a joy seeing people come together for a common show. I have enjoyed the writing, the music, I respect the voice actors and animations, and the am proud to be a part of the fandom. The tagline for the fandom is “Love and Tolerate” and how is that a bad thing.

There is my day one. I look forward to seeing the positives later this next week.

So, I have been in a funk lately. I have had a rough time at work, gotten into it with my boss a bit, been REALLY stressed out with upcoming events and changes. Pile on the home life and my daughters in school and it makes for a stress ball of badness.

That being said, I have a list of music I listen to when I need some uplifting pick-me-ups. It ranges from My Little Pony songs to Classical to Speed Metal and beyond. I will have many different mood swings and I like to have a list.

Well today I was very touch when a friend and co-worker of mine posted on my wall a song. I was still in a “bleh” mood and was not doing better then this past week. He posted the song and just said “I find this song super uplifting and thought you may too. Give it a whirl whenever you feel a little blue.”

Just a quick line and a link. I was extremely touched. It totally changed me day. I had a few other moments of joy that really put it over the top after a crumby week. I am very thankful. Just a few lines can change a persons day.

Hug a pony my friends and spread the love and happiness.

I hate this feeling of hopelessness. I cannot stand my mind and body sometimes. I cannot even summon the will to move. I want to move and do things, but my body will not respond. I know a lot of people who can’t relate to this. I will be sitting in a chair or my car and I will just stop. I will not move. I will be screaming in my mind to move my hand from the door handle, but nothing happens. My body rebels against me. My mind spirals out of control. I will stare blankly with no hope for movement. I know in my mind that if I could just move, I could keep moving and forget. I think in my mind of the Little Engine that Could. I just have to get moving. I scream and plead across my mindscape with no avail. I want to bow my head in defeat, but I am locked in place. I give up hope before finally I blink. That simple motion is enough to get me moving again. And, once again, now that I am moving, I must keep move for fear of locking in place again and drifting in my mind, lost. I move to my house and hug my wife and try not to cry.

So I was working today. It feels like I work everyday, all day, without stop. I have been hit several pieces of bad news today. My sister’s dog, who was like a member of the family, passed away after 11 years. I lost 2 of my favorite vendor reps for my store. Next week, I have to work SO much overtime. It was generally a bad day. I am trudging along the best I can when I was helping a boy and his dad.

These were very thorough people. They took their time, asked a lot of questions. Also, the day seemed to be a stand-offish type who wanted his 9 year old to be grown up and ask all the questions, pay, and be the person in charge of the transaction. I handled my business, and tried to help any way I could. We finally got to the register and he pulled out his wallet and I noticed that he had several key-chains on his belt loop. Almost all of them were My Little Pony characters.

I asked him if he watched the show and he said yes. His dad got worried and said he must have seen it with his sister. The boy turned and said that, no he liked it and introduced her to it. The dad then looked at me apologetically. I looked at the boy and asked his favorite character was. He responded enthusiastically with Twilight Sparkle! The dad rolled his eyes. I looked at him and said, “Mine is Fluttershy, though I really like Twilight as well” The dad’s eyes bugged out of his head at this point. I looked at him and told him that I watched it with my daughters, and that I had introduced it to THEM, and that it was a fantastic show. The boy very cheerfully thank me for my help and left with a bewildered father. It cheered me up.

I just want to say, Thank you new kid! Welcome to the herd. Brohoof, and enjoy the fandom. Hug a pony my friend.

Some music is just so soothing. It ranges for me. I can listen to almost every type and genre of music if I just like it. It is so calming. The problem comes for me when I play the same song over and over again to the point that people around me are annoyed with ME listening to it. I just focuses my mind on something other than what blackness lurks in the corners of my mind. Music to calm the savage beast. It works quite well. The chills I get with a good song. So good.

I have a really great boss. I enjoy the fact that he does push me to do better. I enjoy the challenges me to do better and always strive to do my best. I also appreciate his open-mindedness. Case in point. I have been carry little Fluttershy around with me as I have not been doing so well with the whole depression thing. I keep her in my pocket and not something I just display everywhere. I had to pull her out to pay for something at a work meeting. My boss glanced over at the same and saw her. He just asked what it was and I told him it was my plush pony. He asked why I had it, with more of a curious tone of voice and not the usual tone of disgust I get from people. I just briefly said it was part of a therapy I was doing. He just said “Oh” and went back to doing what he was doing. Not a moment hesitation or judgement. Just purely accepted me as a person. It was quite amazing and reassuring.

Hug a plushy my friends. It can help and make a difference.